I wanted to call you today. I've been thinking about it the past couple days, and then it occurred to me to check your blog for new updates. I was shocked to find like five posts that I hadn't yet read! And as I went through, the desire to call, and say hello, and just be a friend increased.
BUT it is Sunday. Not only Sunday, but Father's Day. I have a thing about calling lady friends on weekends. In my mind, weekends are "daddy time". So I don't disturb. Especially not on Father's Day. Who knows what kind of beautiful family moments I would be disturbing!
So I will call another day--another day soon. Although if a phone call is not going to work for you right now, you can let me know that. I'm totally cool with not calling soon. I can be patient!
Yeesh all I have to do at this point is start apologizing for wanting to talk to you and I'll officially sound like someone else I know!
Anyway, why am I writing this post? This seems more and more like a silly, inane post. I wanted to post because something you wrote reminded me of an analogy that I love more and more each time I think of it. And there's a great video of it that I wanted to show to you, so I thought I'd better post it to the blog. That's why I'm writing. I'll get to the video.
How was your Father's Day? Aside from the hilarious Real Life Photo Shoot? I had a personal Father's Day victory! See, during the months of pregnancy/baby rearing, I become a very disorganized person. I manage to keep a handle on the absolute basics, but all the wonderful extra things, like advance planning for Father's Day, go completely out the window. This is the direction our celebrations were going this year. Every time I wondered what I would do I would become flustered with brain deadness and then Liam would cry--or Gavin would break something/cut something/pee on something/draw on something/fall off something/etc, or Evelyn would whine--you know the drill. But then this past week a friend came over to play and suggested we make a FD craft with our kids, and I looked some up, and found some pretty cute egg carton flowers. So we did it! And Evelyn made a card, and then, best of all, I was able to provide a real service for Brad this morning, due to the fact that he leaves so early for a meeting. Usually I cling desperately to that last thread of sleep for the 20 minutes he's getting ready. But today I got up and made him a loverly breakfast! I felt pretty good about myself, considering I had only a week ago pretty much resigned myself to complete neglect and failure.
This afternoon we all went out to Victoria Park to visit the waterfall and float some little wooden "boats" (flat pieces of wood with a pointy end and a stick coming out the top) down the creek. The sky was clear, the sun was warm, the weather mild. It was a magnificent time! Brad still has so much recovery left--neither of his bones are knit back together yet. But when I remember the state of things last year, or even just six months ago, I relish every outing like this that we do! As the days and weeks go by I am more and more confronted with this strange surreal experience of realizing that we know almost nothing of this place in the summer, even though it all feels so familiar to us, having lived here coming on two years!
After the trip Brad grabbed some narcotics (which he rarely does anymore) and went straight to the couch--there's a thunderstorm coming tomorrow, so it's wrecking him. In certain ways it's difficult to be the onlooker of someone else's pain--it hurts to know there is nothing you can do. You feel guilty sometimes doing things you know they can't. I feel self conscious every time I bound up the stairs! Regardless, I am grateful for Brad's recovery. I don't know if he feels very grateful right now, but I do. I'm grateful that (so far) he's able to work, and play with the children, and go fishing. And I'm grateful he's getting compensated.
I've got to stop right here to say that it feels strange rambling to you about my life. It is so unimportant. My greatest challenges were last year. Now everything is getting better, on the upswing, improving. It's your turn to feel, to think, to weep, to write. At the same time, I'm guessing that you would dislike it if I hid myself from you, so that you began to know me less and less, simply because I don't want to impose.
Anyway, the video. You posted a beautiful excerpt about how God gives us mercy piece by piece--just enough for each day. And it reminded me of this analogy of how God delivers revelation to our minds--especially the example of the foggy day. I love it! Maybe you will like it too:
Continue to press forward, my friend.
"Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men."
Love,
Jacqui
