Thursday 3 October 2013

In the Trenches

Dear Jen,

How are things? How are you breathing?

I've been reflecting today on how my friend-scoping focus has changed. I remember well the days when I would stand listless, alone and bored (OH so bored) at the park, casually checking out the other adults to ascertain whether they were caretakers, grandparents, or actual, legitimate, straight-up parents. Then I might try to "happen" to be close enough to that parent to strike up a conversation should the opportunity present itself. And I would hope that an opportunity would come up wherein I could casually insert into the conversation that I have a park playgroup and they should totally come.

Now I have a five-year-old, and I'm not doing a park playgroup anymore. No, I have moved on to "Homeschool Playgroup". So my focus has changed. The community certainly is different. The same type of scoping is required--usually when you see an adult out and about with many children they are actually running a day home. And, as my friend Mary pointed out, when you see someone out with older children in the middle of the day they are often simply taking the day off school for doctor's appointments.

All things considered, though, I see an upside and a downside to these new search criteria. The downside (start with the bad news) is that the community is much smaller. Every parent has toddlers to take care of at some point. Most parents do not, on the other hand, homeschool their older children. The upside, though, is that because the community is smaller, most other homeschoolers you meet are just as desperate as you are to make connections and network! You know if you've found a homeschooler that they want your phone number just as badly as you want theirs!

The reason for all this reflection is that today I made a new homeschool connection! It was awesome! And just about as randomly dumb luck as meeting you. In fact, on my way home from meeting this lady and her children it caused me to think back to that day at Sardis Park in Chilliwack. I felt the same gleeful excitement--like a true breakthrough had been made, and life was looking much brighter than I'd been imagining it could be!

So the story goes that every Thursday morning the kids and I walk to the library (I love living right in the middle of town. Walking to the library is so enjoyable!) so Ev and Gav can participate in a little program from 10:30-11:15. Since Liam usually is ready for a nap around 11:00 and I usually haven't had my second breakfast (what? Doesn't everyone model their meal plans like a hobbit?) I'm eager to bee-line it back to the house when we get out. Unfortunately (or so I thought at the time) for me, not only was it a beautiful day today but there were already a few kids playing on the steps of the stone war memorial that towers into the sky on a grassy lawn right beside the library. So I thought, "Alright fine, I'll let them play for a minute." The lady watching the kids (which I have been trained to assume was a wage-earning caretaker) was fortunately more friendly than I and offered a comment on the weather. As I looked to her to respond, some things started clicking in. First was: these kids all look to be different ages. "Are these all yours?" I asked (feeling like SUCH a jerk. She had four kids. Since I ALWAYS get the "Wow your hands are full!" I can pretty much guarantee she ALWAYS gets "Are these all YOURS???"). Yes they were. Next thing: those two kids playing on the steps look old. Like, older than Evelyn. With excitement just beginning to mount in my chest, I asked the big one, "Do you homeschool?"

Did a hallelujah chorus play in my mind upon hearing her answer? Quite possibly. It would have been hard to hear over the follow-up questions jumping into my head. Another homeschooler! And she lives in Debert--about 20 minutes from here on the highway. And she has recently begun getting together with two other homeschool moms around that area! And yes, she is interested in joining us for a weekday visit to the local corn maze! And since her kids do piano lessons every Thursday morning in Truro, she's coming over for lunch next week, and maybe, just maybe, we might be able, in some capacity, to get our Truro group to collaborate with her Debert group, making SIX families!

This is the historical location where it all went down.
I'm excited--I'm pretty excited. I know that often big plans don't turn out quite as you'd hoped, if at all. But the possibilities are enough to kick up some good ol' adrenaline and make me feel pretty good about things right now. The best part? Both Brad and Mary asked, in so many words, if she seemed "copasetic". My assessment, based on our short conversation, was that she seemed moderately disheveled (as any good mother of more than two children ought to be, really) and pretty easy going. I think she might fit right in with our current dynamic.

And of course Ev is pretty stoked. That girl will never have enough friends. On a side note, I recall being worried about the effect our last move would have on her. I am possibly more concerned this time round. Whatever, I did it so many times as a kid! She'll grow from it! In the meantime, new friends are more than welcome!

How is homeschooling going for you? We need to chat soon to trade stories from the trenches.

Love,

Jacqui