Generally, it is rather easy to see the blessings in planned hardships--like your husband leaving you alone with the children three evenings a week to take night classes so that he can finish his degree that much sooner. When those plans are completely trainwrecked, I have still been trying to make a huge effort to see the blessings in that, too.
Seeing them turns out not to be very hard. It's staying focused on them that's the issue. It's hard not to think about how less than a week ago Brad was making promising connections at his federal government summer research position, which he thoroughly enjoyed, and how he was already half way through his four-week "Calculus 1" course, and how this weekend would have been perfect for Brad to take Evelyn on that camping trip she's been asking for ever since we confirmed that winter really was over, and how because of a split-second moment of inattention by a pregnant woman in an SUV none of that exists anymore.
But I'm trying not to think about those things. Because this is what our life is now--and perhaps the things that I'm disappointed about will turn out not to matter, and other unforeseen things will turn out to be incredibly advantageous. It's a challenge especially to see this lengthy bone-repairing surgery recovery as an opportunity, instead of countless lost ones--a waste of time.
But I'm trying. For one thing, instead of having a summer of busy-ness, stress, and absence, Brad's will be the complete opposite. The kids and I will get to see a lot of him. And I will have the opportunity to learn how to do lots of things on my own, like planting a garden, and cleaning a chicken coop, and remembering to water house plants. And Brad will have the opportunity to learn the skill of taking it easy and experiencing what others call "leisure time". And I will have the opportunity to prove (mostly to myself) that I really am capable of selflessly serving someone else (Brad's always beat me to the punch with that one). And Brad will have the opportunity to do a lot of reading--including to the children!
The great blessing of Learning Opportunities is always difficult to stay positive about. But I'm trying. So far I'm usually pretty steady in my mental control. But then again, right now all I can think about is wanting Brad to come home, no matter how hard it'll make our day-to-day. But I've got myself in training for the long weeks ahead. I really believe every pitfall in life is an opportunity to receive hidden blessings. Putting that philosophy into practice will be the challenge...
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