Finished Business

Dear Jen,

So in all the excitement of the past days (alright and all the things keeping me busy during the day and awake during the night) I haven't gotten to a very looked-forward-to thing, which is to show you the finished product of my painted chicken coop! Finally after months of waiting May long weekend proved perfect! The forecast was for sun sun and more sun starting Friday and continuing for four days, with daytime temperatures in the 20's and overnight close to 10. The entire week beforehand I had planned to paint the coop on Friday, but Brad's accident having happened that Wednesday it also turned out to be a welcome distraction for us as we waited daily to find out just when daddy would return to us.

Just to remind you of the "before" look, here is a cute picture of the children enjoying some snacks on the coop a couple months ago:



And now here is the finished product!

Just as I'd dreamed: an outrageously bright red and orange base to contrast the vibrant blue of the house, with some fantastic drawings by Evelyn. She's got to paint lots of real-use projects this season: a bird house; bird feeder; bee house; and now this, which in my opinion is the coup de grace. What you see on the front face is, left to right, the farmers, a stripey elephant, a cow (note the udder), a tall dinosaur, and a short dinosaur under a starry full-moon sky. On the side are some chickens, I think, and possibly more dinosaurs.

Anyway, I love it. Makes me much happier than that hideous bare press-board. SO glad we finally got that done! Now to just find time to plant all the rest of my garden! It's getting just a wee bit late methinks...

Raindrops

Dear Jacqui,

Do I think that it was God's will for Brad to get in an accident?  Absolutely not.

But, do I think he can use it to draw you closer to him?  Yes... yes I do.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, 

to them who are the called according to his purpose.  - Romans 8:28

In the midst of our trials it often feels impossible to know what good can come of this... but we can trust that the One who knows the number of hairs on our head has a good plan for us.

I so very much wish that I was there to carry some of this burden with you...  Let's talk very soon.

Love, Jen

P.S. I've been thinking on this in some of my own recent circumstances, and think it could be something "for you" too:

When you find God is all you have; you will realize he is all you need.

I'm praying that you sense God's presence and peace throughout this trial and have supernatural strength that can only be from him as you press on in the days ahead.  Sending you love!

Blessing Hunt

Dear Jen,

Generally, it is rather easy to see the blessings in planned hardships--like your husband leaving you alone with the children three evenings a week to take night classes so that he can finish his degree that much sooner. When those plans are completely trainwrecked, I have still been trying to make a huge effort to see the blessings in that, too.

Seeing them turns out not to be very hard. It's staying focused on them that's the issue. It's hard not to think about how less than a week ago Brad was making promising connections at his federal government summer research position, which he thoroughly enjoyed, and how he was already half way through his four-week "Calculus 1" course, and how this weekend would have been perfect for Brad to take Evelyn on that camping trip she's been asking for ever since we confirmed that winter really was over, and how because of a split-second moment of inattention by a pregnant woman in an SUV none of that exists anymore.

But I'm trying not to think about those things. Because this is what our life is now--and perhaps the things that I'm disappointed about will turn out not to matter, and other unforeseen things will turn out to be incredibly advantageous. It's a challenge especially to see this lengthy bone-repairing surgery recovery as an opportunity, instead of countless lost ones--a waste of time.

But I'm trying. For one thing, instead of having a summer of busy-ness, stress, and absence, Brad's will be the complete opposite. The kids and I will get to see a lot of him. And I will have the opportunity to learn how to do lots of things on my own, like planting a garden, and cleaning a chicken coop, and remembering to water house plants. And Brad will have the opportunity to learn the skill of taking it easy and experiencing what others call "leisure time". And I will have the opportunity to prove (mostly to myself) that I really am capable of selflessly serving someone else (Brad's always beat me to the punch with that one). And Brad will have the opportunity to do a lot of reading--including to the children!

The great blessing of Learning Opportunities is always difficult to stay positive about. But I'm trying. So far I'm usually pretty steady in my mental control. But then again, right now all I can think about is wanting Brad to come home, no matter how hard it'll make our day-to-day. But I've got myself in training for the long weeks ahead. I really believe every pitfall in life is an opportunity to receive hidden blessings. Putting that philosophy into practice will be the challenge...

Thought you should know

Dear Jen,

So I just made myself some fleece "kleenex"--meaning, I took a left-over strip of fleece I had sitting around and cut it into little nose-blowing-sized rectangles. I'd thought of trying it out probably about a month ago, but lucky me, I got myself a real opportunity to test the idea this week when I got a snotty cold!

I'm just full of luck.

The test was extra effective because I waited until all my actual kleenex was used up, so even though it's some fancy kind of moisturizer-infused tissue, my nose has started getting red and raw.

Those happy-nose commercials are LIES.

So I cut out one square as a tester, put it up to my dripping nose, and blew.

I should say that the experiment consisted of two components: 1. Will the material used irritate my sore nose? 2. Will the material actually remove the snot from my face and keep it safe and sound in the fabric?

Important questions.

SO. I cut out one square as a tester, put it up to my dripping nose, and blew.

And...

It was like blowing my nose into a heaven cloud! OH man. Soooo superior to kleenex. The entire Western culture is living in a prison of ignorance. If only they all knew: fleece is the way to go!

Oh--and also it surprisingly did absorb my nasal excrement quite well. So I cut 20 more.

Love,

Jacqui

Life Progress...

Dear Jen,

I recently learned that there is in fact more than one good playground in town. It happens to be one that I'd seen a couple times before, as I drove down the long road that goes past the university buildings and fields and into sparse suburbia. Every time its vibrant colours attracted my eye, and as I zipped past I would try to catch a glimpse of the school to which it surely belonged. I never could find one, so it was on my list of "things to investigate". But then one day I mentioned it and someone said, "Oh yeah, that's the Bible Hill Rec. Park. I take my kids there sometimes. It's pretty good." So I got excited.

The timing of learning about this park was ideal, because the very next week Brad started work and so I needed to take Gavin with me to Evelyn's gymnastics class. I'd taken him once before, and he likes to try to struggle through the open window to clamour into the very fun-looking gym, and then cry in frustration when I won't let him. This park happens to be very close to the gymnastics building, and especially excellent: it was a clear, sunny day. Meant to be!

So I checked out the park:

And it's pretty cool! But that wasn't the best part of my park adventure. The best part was the "other mother" who was also there.

Isn't it kind of crazy and funny how trying to make new friends is a little too pathetically similar to trying to find a husband? It was totally this whole melodramatic scene.

"From across the park, I spotted you instantly. I'd seen you before, at other playgroups, and I'd always wanted to say hello, but the moment never seemed right. Now, alone at the park together, I knew this was my chance, but I didn't know how to begin. Tentatively I stood at a distance, pretending to be playing with my son, but really looking to see if you'd noticed me--trying to seem casual; trying to look cool; trying to appear like an attentive mother who also is laid-back enough to let my toddler brave the play structure on his own; trying to think of a witty line; trying to find an excuse--anything--to come close enough to you to use it. Then, just as I'd given myself up to my fate of loneliness and solitude, providence! My son became jealous of the red-steel jeep that your son was climbing on. Slowly, I sauntered forward, hoping I didn't appear too eager, hoping you didn't just see right through my facade (and yet...hoping you would), and then...you spoke! We connected--chatted about childbirth, about sleep schedules, exchanged names even...and my morning was made."

See? Just change around the details to be a smoky room at a party where you connect with that hot guy you'd been eyeing for weeks and you've got a romance novel.

Anyway, so that was my exciting Thursday. I've decided to even incorporate the park into my playgroup (which has had a grand old people count of ME--unless you include my friend from church with a 6-month-old who drops by occassionally), so now we are really like you! Park rotation! One woman on the FB group who has seemed really eager lives in Bible Hill and appears not to have a vehicle to get her over to my side of town, so perhaps this switch will even land me a single regular playgroup attendee! One can only desperately pray (no it's not that bad for me. I'm just a wee bit concerned for Evelyn because her only friends are the older kids from church who go to school all day long, and the one boy her age moved away a couple weeks ago, which she was quite disappointed about).

One last bit of not-actually-news, but just to keep you muddled and confused, it is looking possible that our living-in-limbo full-time-schooling sentence may be shortened by yet another year. As Brad discusses with professors and students and professionals and employers, he seems to be leaning toward stopping school with the Bachelor's. He's mentioned it to me a few times over the past few weeks, which means it is something that may actually happen. I guess the types of things he can do with a Master's aren't necessarily any more exciting than what he can do with the Bachelor's, and actually may be a wee bit less interesting. So...that would be only two more years! Do you think the job at FVRD will still be available?

Love,

Jacqui

Patience Was Never My Strong Suit...

Dear Jen,

I just needed to share that I am simply dying to paint my chicken coop! It's such a hideous eye sore that will make me feel so happy to look at when it's painted vibrant red with orange trim.
Did you know there are rules about painting temperature? Oh yes. Very strict. Apparently if I want a good result I have to wait until the OVERNIGHT temperature is above 10 degrees. Know what it's supposed to be tonight (this being a sunny day)? -4. Plus I'll need a couple of un-humid un-rainy days with said temperature restrictions for the stuff to dry.

Woe is me.

I bought paint in MARCH so I'd be ready the minute the weather agreed. I'm dying.

Anyway, look forward, because I will definitely be taking photos of my proud work.

Love,

Jacqui

PS Evelyn's got big plans to play at Harrison Lake this summer, so maybe we'll see you there!

Dear Jen,
Last week I created something--something I've been meaning to get to for a long time, but was never motivated enough to actually pursue. I would think about it and research it and be excited about it but never find the memory space to actually schedule in a shopping trip for supplies, you know?

Anyway, when I create things, I get such a buzz I simply must share. Usually I would post to Facebook and allow all the praise and glory to stream in that way. But this creation, although it is one of the more exciting things I've made over the course of my life, is a wee bit more sensitive. I don't know...I guess maybe if there weren't any men on there I'd post regardless of how uncomfortable other women feel. But I suppose now that I see myself inching further and further into the Crazy Lady territory (I planned to withhold this from everyone except my close family who are generally as crazy as I am, but to demonstrate a point: I most recently cancelled all of my doctor/OB/ultrasound appointments and have no intention of scheduling any more) I desperately want to cling to any shred of relatability I have left with the common person.

All that to say, instead I am posting only here! Because I can't just not post. Telling you about it would not satisfy my excitement. I have to show you! Ok on to the thing:

So the other day I finally resigned myself to the likelihood that my pregnancy is going to wind up being one nine-month-long period (okay so the bleeding didn't start until like two months in, so a seven-month-long period), and that turned out to be the extra motivation I needed to find a pattern, get out to the fabric store, buy supplies, and sit down at my sewing machine to make fabric menstrual pads (I know, you can barely contain your excitement)! I don't know about your experience, but one day when I paid attention I realized that the disposable ones burn me. It's a mild burn, which is why I had to pay attention to figure out that the discomfort I felt was actually a burning, and seemed to be related to my pads. Makes sense too, since we all know that you can get that toxic shock thing from wearing them for too long--because they're TOXIC. I was talking to my sister about it the other day and she affirmed having a similar issue--except to her it feels after a few days like being punched in the crotch. It sounds very dramatic. Anyway, she also told me that she's pretty sure anyone she's ever discussed it with also has these sorts of problems with disposable pads. So...I guess it's normal. Anyway, at some point over a particularly long stretch of daily spotting (which is still going on. Like I said, pretty sure it's not going away) I was thinking about this burning itching discomfort, and became concerned about what new ailment I'd have to contend with if this really was caused by toxins and I was wearing these things non-stop for months on end--on top of the whole "bleeding pregnancy" issue. That's when I sat down at the computer with a pen and paper and searched for a pattern, for realz this time. And all that is why I am SO EXCITED about them!!!

Okay, here they are:

 

Actually this is just a sample. There are a lot more of those brown flannel things. But anyway, this is called the "circle pad". I selected it because it looked way easy to make--and it was! The circle is made out of two pieces of cotton with PUL fabric sandwiched between. You stick a couple snaps at two ends and that is where you wrap it under your underwear. The two straps sewn on are just fleece, which wicks moisture away really well, and they serve to hold the liners in place better. There's also a rectangle of fleece that you can put under the liners to prevent anything from soaking onto the cotton part (as easily, anyway). The liners are actually long strips of flannel that you fold up, and the reason for this is quick drying after you clean them. Best part: since I already cloth diaper, I just throw them in with that load and dry them at the same time. Sweet! AND it sure feels great having fabric against my skin (like any old day...) instead of toxicness. I've been using them for over a week now and they just make me so happy! Only problem was I found they slid back and forth a bit so I added another snap to the top of the circle and put the corresponding flat part right onto my underwear.

Oh! I should add that the icing on the cake is that I got most of the fabric on sale (except the PUL--that junk is ex-pensive!). Where the professionally-made ones retail at around $10 a-piece, I made mine (price of snaps and giant spool of thread included) for around $26. Can't beat that!

So there we are. My too-personal-for-Facebook-but-not-apparently-for-the-open-internet creation. I love creating! I was thinking maybe next I'll do a skirt for Evelyn.

Hope you're enjoying your Easter vacation trip!

Love,

Jacqui