Day 22 - Wish you were here

Dear Jacqui,

Well, after M only sleeping 20-45 minutes at a time for the last 48 hours and then refusing to eat for the last 18, I am thinking that perhaps the song in my previous post is actually for me.

Do you know how much heavier a 24 lb baby is than a newborn baby?  And how much louder they are? 

I was thinking this morning as I tried to catch an 18 minute nap in the bean bag chair with Z poking me all over playing "doctor" how if you were here I would dial your number, and grunt one word into the phone...

"Come"

Instead, I've yet to find enough <quiet> moments to myself to call anyone much less put together some time to "chat".  And I would feel guilty and ridiculous if our second time actually talking since you left was me lamenting over my exhaustion and crappy circumstances instead of being a supportive "you can do it" friend.

Although supposing I "got over that" and it wasn't bedtime for you now, I think I call and say this, "Come  I'm tired, I'm going to lose it  Come  Please feel bad for me  Come  Now please keep Zach on the phone for the next 18 minutes while I collapse into this bean bag chair without him poking at me while simultaneously praying that this is one of Masen's 45 minute stretches.  Come"

You are missed.

And I am pathetic.

Love, Jen

P.S.  How was Maggie's Place?  Have you thought of trying "Meetup" to see if you can find a Mom's group there?  (While this is partially just a lame attempt at making this not all about me, I do actually care.)

Now to go listen to the song and cry...  (Here is the "official" music video)